


The Contest

by sillythings



Category: Naruto, Sasusaku - Fandom
Genre: F/M, SasuSaku - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-18 21:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22967059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sillythings/pseuds/sillythings
Summary: Right before Sasuke and Sakura leave the village for their long journey, Naruto declares himself the winner in a contest Sasuke did not even know they were in.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, SasuSaku
Comments: 24
Kudos: 214





	The Contest

**Author's Note:**

> This is pure crack.

“So, teme,” Naruto eyed his friend with a lascivious giggle, “you, uh, you know you can ask me for advice...you know...whenever.”

Sasuke looked up from tightening the shoulder straps on his pack. The sun had just risen, and he was waiting for Sakura, for his  _ wife _ of almost a week, to emerge from her parents’ apartment where they had spent the night, giving Sakura time to make a proper goodbye to her family before leaving the village for their extended journey. If all went well, it would be a very long time before the newlywed Uchihas returned to the village. Naruto had arrived early to walk the couple to the village gates where Kakashi would see them off.

Sasuke stared at Naruto blankly, wondering briefly what advice the loser thought he could offer. Naruto grinned widely at his friend’s confusion, his blue eyes alight with mischief.

“You know…” Naruto ducked his head closer, lowering his voice. “If you have any  _ questions _ .” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

_ Ah. _ As if he did not have Kakashi helpfully, and surreptiously, slipping a copy of his favorite erotica into Sasuke’s pocket the night before his wedding, as if the fifth Hokage herself had not taken him aside after the ceremony and sternly (and drunkenly) instructed him that a lady’s needs always come first, as if he had not sat across the breakfast table from his father-in-law this very morning, the normally friendly man alternately blushing and glaring at Sasuke over his tea before gruffly telling his son-in-law that since he was going to be gone for so long, if he had any questions that required a father’s wisdom, Kizashi would like Sasuke to know that he would try to fulfill that role for him before they left. His desperate eyes silently pleaded with Sasuke to not take him up on this offer. 

Sasuke shuddered and briefly closed his eyes. 

“I am a married man, now, after all,” Naruto boasted, puffing out his chest. 

“So am I,” Sasuke rolled his eyes and tried to turn away from this irritating conversation. Naruto needn’t think he had some unknowable wisdom. Sakura was a medic, and what they may have lacked in experience, they made up for with her breathtaking knowledge of the human body. Sasuke walked a few steps out into the street to get away from Naruto’s leer.

“No, but I’ve been married longer than you,” Naruto followed, and came right up to him to poke him in the chest. “I’ve had at least two months more of practice,” he grinned again, his canines shining in the early morning sunlight. “You’ve only had like...48 hours or something.”

It was too early for this nonsense or for Naruto’s poor math skills. Sasuke bent and slung his pack over his shoulder, hoping that Sakura would finish up soon. He was ready to be on his way.

“So,” Naruto grinned, “I win.” It was stated with finality, the tone reminiscent of the old days when they competed with each other over everything...who was the most powerful, who could run the fastest, who could finish their soup first...

“Win what?” Sasuke asked bregrudgingly, that old competitive spirit unwillingly kindled. As far as Sasuke was concerned, he had won everything. He glanced over to the apartment door where his pink-haired bride emerged, holding her own heavy back effortlessly in one hand. Her mother followed and stopped her daughter for another hug. Sasuke sighed. It was going to be another few minutes, then.

“Well…” Naruto glanced slyly over at Sakura, and began to tick off on his brand new fingers, “I got engaged first…”

“ _ I was _ engaged first,” Sasuke blurted out before he could stop himself. It was stupid to get caught up in Naruto’s antics. He knew better, but he could not let his idiot friend think he had one-upped him when Sasuke clearly had the upper hand.

“Eh…” Naruto shook his head from side to side, “Not that anyone knew that, dumbass.”

“Sakura did,” Sasuke retorted. She was the only one who mattered in that situation, wasn’t she? The rest of them figured it out when she started wearing the necklace he had given her as an engagement gift. 

“Well,  _ I _ got married first,” Naruto retorted. Sasuke lifted his chin up with a haughty sneer. True enough, but he still did not feel that it counted as a loss. He and Sakura had figured things out long before Naruto got his own head out of his ass. 

“ _ And _ ...that means,” Naruto giggled again, “I did ‘ _ it’ _ first.” This last was said in a loud whisper. Sasuke shook his head. Was the idiot really making a competition of such a thing? Of course, this was the same idiot who trained under a pervert and purveyor of porn, the same idiot who spent years perfecting variations of a sexy jutsu. Sasuke really should not have been surprised.

“And how nice for your wife that you’re talking about it,” Sasuke sneered. “Such a gentleman.” Sasuke rarely gave much thought about Hinata, but even he had to imagine the blush on her face if she found out Naruto was discussing their intimate secrets with Sasuke. She’d probably faint, he thought. She had done so for far less.

“You are just jealous that I won,” Naruto crowed. Sasuke narrowed his eyes. That was it. He could not let this stand.

“Dead-last,” Sasuke hissed back through clenched teeth, throwing a quick glance at Sakura who had finally finished saying goodbye to her mother.

“Whaddya’ mean, “dead-last”?” Naruto poked him in the chest, “I was first.” Sasuke slapped his hand away.

“What are you two fighting about now?” Sakura stood before them, hands on hips. “You were first at what?” She turned her gaze on Naruto, who began to blush and giggle.

“Ah...Sakura-chan…” he waved a hand in front of his face, “nothing...nothing. Just man talk.”

She jerked her head up in realization and glanced at Sasuke who rolled his eyes. A faint blush dusted her cheeks and she reached up to adjust her pack, busying herself out of embarrassment. Sasuke watched her uncomfortably.

“So, I win!” Naruto said in a loud stage whisper, poking Sasuke on the chest again.

“Cut it out,” he snarled. He’d had enough of this. 

“You win…” Sakura had turned her attention back to Naruto. “Win what? Win why?” Her eyes were narrowed.  _ Uh-oh.  _ Sasuke gave Naruto a triumphant look. His wife would not put up with this rubbish.

Naruto had the good grace to turn red. “Ah, you know, Sakura-chan,” he rubbed the back of his head self-consciously. 

Whether it was the confidence that came with finally being Sasuke’s wife or perhaps it was just the nonchalance that came with being a medic-nin, but Sakura had no qualms in asking her next question.

“Sex?” Sakura asked, blunt, her right fist flexing gently. “You think you...what? Beat Sasuke because you had sex first?” Her tone was dangerously calm. Sasuke took a slight, unconscious step backward.

“Sakura-chan!” Naruto gasped, scandalized. 

“Is that it?” Sakura demanded. She glanced at Sasuke, who just sighed. She gave her new husband a searching look before turning back to Naruto.

“Dead-last,” she echoed Sasuke’s words with firm confidence and a nod. The winner had been declared. 

“Wha--?” Naruto turned to his friend whose jaw had dropped ever so slightly. Sasuke looked at Naruto from the corner of his eyes.

Sakura glared them both down for two seconds before she turned on her heel and marched toward the village gates, leaving her two teammates, her friend and her husband, gaping at her retreating back.

“You had sex before I did?” Naruto finally demanded. Sasuke shrugged uncomfortably and began hurrying to catch up to Sakura. Anger and embarassment had given her speed. Sasuke sighed again. He never would have said anything,  _ ever _ , to anyone, but she had to go and …. And she said  _ he  _ was competitive.

“How does Sakura-chan know?” Naruto asked, aghast, following alongside. Sasuke glared at him for such an implication. What a fool!

“She was  _ there _ , idiot,” Sasuke scoffed. As if he could have done such thing with anyone else. There never could have been anyone else for him. Only her, only Sakura.

“When?” Naruto demanded. “When did this happen? You were gone for two years! Don’t tell me it happened before you left??”

“No.” Sasuke answered curtly, angry now that he was forced into this conversation. 

“When?” Naruto practically shrieked. “When, where, when?”

Sasuke sighed, a sound that came from the bottom of his shoes. 

“Moon,” he said simply, slowing to a walk, dropping a little further behind Sakura. She had given him permission...sort of...but he did not care to have this conversation in front of her.

“Moon…” Naruto scratched his head, “as in, when we, Sakura-chan and me, went to the moon?”

Sasuke nodded. He stared ahead at his wife, her hair a bright beacon in the early morning fog. He had thought he would lose her that day. His heart gave a painful squeeze. But there she was, just a few steps ahead, his  _ wife _ . Surely, he could never atone enough to deserve all the love and goodness she brought to his dark life. And how did he repay her? By telling the scandalous details of their personal life to the loudmouth idiot who adored them both.

“As in, when you came back to the village to save it from falling debris and then disappeared immediately but apparently not immediately...” Naruto was babbling now.

Sasuke gave another short nod, his own face beginning to burn with embarassment. It was nobody’s business but their own. This shameful conversation would end. Not even Naruto could know about the desperate beauty of that late afternoon, when she let herself into her apartment, weary and triumphant, to find an anxious Sasuke waiting for her, needing to take her into his arms, to reassure himself that she was alive, that she was his.

“As in, I had my first kiss on the same day you first knew the pleasures of Sakura’s womanly embrace?!” Naruto scowled. Just ahead, Sakura paused midstep, throwing an inscrutable glance their way.

Sasuke stopped and thought for a moment. He grinned at Naruto’s indignant face. 

“Hn,” he nodded with satisfaction. “Guess I  _ do _ win.” And with that he jogged ahead to catch up with his wife. 

Sakura smiled at him shyly when he fell into step next to her. It was a fine day to start out on a journey, and he had everything he needed right by his side.


End file.
